The psychological reasons for you failing on your diet!

Perhaps you are wondering just why it is that when you decide to diet you can’t think of anything but food? Even when you aren't hungry you are thinking about it all the time. You become hyper aware of it. Watching the clock ’till you can have your next meal. It actually has very little to do with hunger it’s self. When we are otherwise occupied it is possible to become quite hungry without realising it.  And even then we sometimes end up completing our task before we stop to eat. The problem with diets is they mean denial! You will no doubt be eating less and possibly denying yourself your usual treats completely. Because of this you will try not to think about the things that you can’t eat. You will try not to think about having to wait for another two hours before you can have your diet meal, because before this diet you would just munch on a chocolate bar whenever you wanted. This is why as a long term solution, diets don’t work. Unless you have the grit of a top athlete it is impossible to override thoughts about food forever. If you are having to consciously think about what you are and are not allowed to eat on a diet then that food is more prominent in your mind and it is only a matter of time before your resolve weakens.

Don’t think about pizza!

Unfortunately your mind can’t process a negative thought. In order to not think about it, it has to think about it first and then you just can’t help but think about it! Your conscious will says that you want to lose weight but all you can do is think about all those things that you can’t eat.

Fact!When there is conflict between the imagination and the conscious will, then the imagination will always win the day. Here is an example. Nothing to do with losing weight but it serves to illustrate just how our imagination can ruin our best intentions.

Example: Most people could walk along a foot wide plank suspended securely a foot from the ground without too much difficulty. It doesn't create any stress or anxiety to do so. If that same plank were thirty foot up in the air most people would fall off. But why? Because when you start to walk along the plank your conscious mind says “I can do this, I’ve just done it with the plank was a foot above the floor.” However your imagination says “yes but if you did fall you would really hurt yourself. If you start to wobble you might fall and if you fell you would really hurt yourself. 


Whatever you do don’t fall! By this point there is a huge conflict between the conscious mind and the imagination and the person starts to wobble. It’s only a matter of time before they fall…Which confirms what they knew, i.e. that they just knew it would happen, that sooner or later they would fall. What is happening here is that our imagination is giving us powerful suggestions. Suggestions that if we fall we will really hurt ourselves. We become focussed on that suggestion vividly imagining what it would be like to fall.  So when your conscious mind wants to lose weight your imagination is busy filling your head with thoughts of all those foods you are not allowed to eat and how good they will taste.

How to use suggestions to help you achieve your weight loss goals.
Now it’s time to do something about those things by changing our suggestions to ourselves. As a hypnotherapist I use suggestions to influence how people behave. In order foe the suggestions to be effective I have do deliver them in a certain way. The combination of the word, the context and the tonality of voice are what make these suggestions effective. But you can give yourself very powerful suggestions or affirmations that will help not only your weight loss but any other area of your life. Firstly, lets look at how we use language and how it affects us when we are giving ourself a message or suggestion. We give ourselves suggestions all the time without really being aware of it.


Why it’s hard to diet, language and the suggestions we give ourselves without realising!
The way we convey a message is important. My head is killing me is much more powerful than saying I have a headache. I am starving or I could eat a horse is much more powerful than saying I could eat now. This chocolate cake tastes amazing is more powerful than this chocolate cake is nice.


When we say we are starving we are giving ourselves a very powerful suggestion that we should eat a lot. When we say the cake is amazing we will want more of it than if it were just nice. Sigmund Freud first formulated the pleasure principal idea back in the early 1900’s. Quite simply it states that humans try to move away from pain and towards pleasure. It is easy to see how this would be a helpful behaviour in most cases.


Unfortunately many foods will move us towards pleasure because we enjoy them so much and towards pain because we feel guilty after we have eaten them, at the same time. If we tell ourselves we LOVE chocolate but on the other hand we HATE it, or hate the way we feel because of eating it, this is very confusing for your subconscious mind. Again it all comes down to the suggestions we have given ourselves. A dysfunctional cycle of behaviour results from the eating activity that triggers both responses. One state, guilt/pain, makes us feel bad and increases the desire for the other state, pleasure which then triggers guilt again.

Negative suggestions.

We often and without realising, give ourself negative suggestions:

 It won’t work for me.
I just know there’s no point even trying to lose weight.
I know its not going to happen.
Things never go right for me.
I will never find the right partner.
Men/women always treat me bad.
I’ve tried everything, I just can’t lose any weight.
I never have any time to exercise.

The main thing to notice with these examples is that they are very general. They are all encompassing in their negativity. They are very polarised.

Words such as never, always, can’t, won’t etc when applied in a negative connotation magnify it’s negative effect.

Do you really know that you can’t lose weight? If you were marooned on a desert island with nothing but a few coconuts and sand crabs to eat do you think you would still be overweight then? So it isn’t hard to see how negative thoughts could be very powerful suggestions to the subconscious mind and help us to self sabotage.

Find out more about self sabotage and how to overcome it in the very first chapter of Weight Loss Made Easy. Why risk undoing all your hard work losing weight? Knowing how to tackle self sabotage behaviour is the key to undoing unhelpful food related behaviours such as binging or making bad food choices.